Many thanks for this piece. It arrives most timely for me. My wife is in Sheffield today to be with her mother who is close to death. It is difficult to witness the havoc the process is bringing to the family, largely due to the taboo our culture holds around talking openly about death. The consequence is that where there should be celebration of a life (of which death is a part) there is fear and suffering. We all love each other but have not been taught how to express this in the presence of death.
Andy, I am so glad this helps somewhat. Only just a shift in our cultural teaching and passing on of things and all this suffering would be transformed. Perhaps you will be part of this shift in this case. Sensing you warmest greetings from Dorset.
So many resonances. In the 1990s I trained as a soul midwife and also ran workshops on death related matters. As a celebrant, helping people to create unique funerals was immensely rewarding. We do death badly in our culture and it is now a professionalised business model that people fear to deviate from. Traditional cultures made space for the catharsis of full-on grief: weeping, wailing, collapse, immersion and subsequent acknowledgement and support. Our ego-centred culture creates an abnormal terror of death and there is little sense of it being a vital part of the cycle of life. I once took part in a magical ceremony that recreated Inanna's descent into the underworld: it was a profound and transforming experience that confronted the initiate with loss, terror and death. As the Buddhist saying goes, one must die before one dies. Pilgrimage: myself and two friends, all of us on the wrong side of 60, walked part of the Golden Valley Pilgrim Way last week. We stayed overnight in churches (the clock bongs all night and of course we all had to go for a wee several times) and although tired and wet for most of it, we will do it again next year; it was wonderful.
Ah this walk pilgrimage sounds wonderful. Which Golden Valley, the one near Bath? Do let me know. And you are right indeed about the overculture and its terror of death.
It's the one in Herefordshire and is on pilgrimage.org. Although it uses some old footpaths, it isn't a true pilgrimage route; I think they made it up to bring in some income! But it goes through some beautiful countryside.
My goodness those trees! This is such a lovely tribute to the bittersweet dance we call life. Also I love Will's page! I shall be needing a hazel staff I think...
Also I am finding that the more I start to release my grip on the threads I thought tethered me to safety from death and loss, the more I feel new ones there waiting to be grasped.
It's true, Caroline, we do forget the ending. Most people find it almost impossible to face without detaching from it so much that it is rendered mere entertainment or a way to make money. Facing death honestly and personally takes courage. doing so is a pilgrimage in itself. We are drawn onwards, ever challenged by what we fear. The prospect of death keeps us mindful of the present, where life is. Thanks for your poetic description of what this journey is like for you, and for the reminder that more and more pilgrims are finding each other.
A rich and deep tapestry of words and images, a deeper joining of spirits. Those of us called to work in the liminal realms and the deep earthy reality of embodiment perceive so many subtle threads, in their endless weaving and unravelling, breaking, mending, joining and weaving. You get closer, in your words, to revealing and sharing this natural way of being than anyone I read regularly. It is such a joy to have found your writing.
Many thanks for this piece. It arrives most timely for me. My wife is in Sheffield today to be with her mother who is close to death. It is difficult to witness the havoc the process is bringing to the family, largely due to the taboo our culture holds around talking openly about death. The consequence is that where there should be celebration of a life (of which death is a part) there is fear and suffering. We all love each other but have not been taught how to express this in the presence of death.
Andy, I am so glad this helps somewhat. Only just a shift in our cultural teaching and passing on of things and all this suffering would be transformed. Perhaps you will be part of this shift in this case. Sensing you warmest greetings from Dorset.
So many resonances. In the 1990s I trained as a soul midwife and also ran workshops on death related matters. As a celebrant, helping people to create unique funerals was immensely rewarding. We do death badly in our culture and it is now a professionalised business model that people fear to deviate from. Traditional cultures made space for the catharsis of full-on grief: weeping, wailing, collapse, immersion and subsequent acknowledgement and support. Our ego-centred culture creates an abnormal terror of death and there is little sense of it being a vital part of the cycle of life. I once took part in a magical ceremony that recreated Inanna's descent into the underworld: it was a profound and transforming experience that confronted the initiate with loss, terror and death. As the Buddhist saying goes, one must die before one dies. Pilgrimage: myself and two friends, all of us on the wrong side of 60, walked part of the Golden Valley Pilgrim Way last week. We stayed overnight in churches (the clock bongs all night and of course we all had to go for a wee several times) and although tired and wet for most of it, we will do it again next year; it was wonderful.
Ah this walk pilgrimage sounds wonderful. Which Golden Valley, the one near Bath? Do let me know. And you are right indeed about the overculture and its terror of death.
It's the one in Herefordshire and is on pilgrimage.org. Although it uses some old footpaths, it isn't a true pilgrimage route; I think they made it up to bring in some income! But it goes through some beautiful countryside.
My goodness those trees! This is such a lovely tribute to the bittersweet dance we call life. Also I love Will's page! I shall be needing a hazel staff I think...
Also I am finding that the more I start to release my grip on the threads I thought tethered me to safety from death and loss, the more I feel new ones there waiting to be grasped.
It's true, Caroline, we do forget the ending. Most people find it almost impossible to face without detaching from it so much that it is rendered mere entertainment or a way to make money. Facing death honestly and personally takes courage. doing so is a pilgrimage in itself. We are drawn onwards, ever challenged by what we fear. The prospect of death keeps us mindful of the present, where life is. Thanks for your poetic description of what this journey is like for you, and for the reminder that more and more pilgrims are finding each other.
A rich and deep tapestry of words and images, a deeper joining of spirits. Those of us called to work in the liminal realms and the deep earthy reality of embodiment perceive so many subtle threads, in their endless weaving and unravelling, breaking, mending, joining and weaving. You get closer, in your words, to revealing and sharing this natural way of being than anyone I read regularly. It is such a joy to have found your writing.
I am so glad my writing resonates with you.